Sunday 28 September 2008
-friday
went to find jacq yx le justin quan rome for steamboat, headed over to F1 there damn noisy ear pain gg die lorh
-sat
late for nra meeting, soccer, fun, tired, shag, eat, mahjonged, lost 6 gj, at least manutd won 2-0 and arsnl lose 2-1 LOSERs.
-sun
woke up freaking early
headed to nus
1st round keeper
2nd round some bastard came in from behind and made my left ankle which took months to feel better and was still pain, took some damage. I SPRAINED IT OMFG. it freaking hurts now cbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbbcbcb i cant play next sat for soccer team SIAN. and i cant dance no more. SIAN. SUAY EKFBJKBFNBFWLNFLWENFLKNWEFLKN FUCK. bye
thanks for your concern wei liang and jia jie xD sorry im kinda like a lady in a mmorpg so i have to fake. like this >< =x =/ xD byebye
Labels: suayness AGAIN
A Secret That Can't Be Told
23:55Y
Saturday 27 September 2008
@!#$%^& so looking forward to soccer on sat la! then have this nra meeting 11-1 gjjjjjj. less time to play with the dudes =/ i guess for someone like me, i have to practise very hard huh. to prevent the inevitable; becoming a prop. its just maybe you have to be freaking dope for ppl to give you their attention? if you suck at it then you can just forget bout talking to anyone bah. had this conver with my friend and he feels the same =/ but he wants to quit. PLEASE DONTTTT... just because you people have recognition in nra doesnt mean you're big fuck and can look down on us. what about other aspects. with fame, everything changes. one day we shall be dope until you ppl come crawling back.
justin and me saw something very epic which if brian was here, 3 of us would have done something.
fate just toys us around.without affinity,agony of separation would be spared.worse,being ignored, seen as something,that does not even existin her life.i just ask that you dont treat me like a stranger,at least hate me the best you canso that i will be remembered.curse me so that you will speak of methe anger you havewill lead to angry thoughts for at least theres this thought.Labels: agony
A Secret That Can't Be Told
02:35Y
Thursday 25 September 2008
i think i'll just summarise what i did over the week.
sat- soccer in the morning with the usual clique with the special appearance of pri sch friend. 0.0 she looked pretty with that dressing i guess. kk then it took us bout one hour to finally settle down and started playing. it was really fun cuz we hadnt been playing tgt for quite some time. haha. the feeling was damn good and nostalgic. played from 11+ til 4 like that. so was feeling freaking shag. headed over to beauty world to play pool with nra clique. wth i waited in the scorching sun for like nearly and hour
!@#%^$&$#@ so sticky and tired alr. but who cares we still had fun didnt we LOL. so yea after that we headed over to kim san leng near justins house for dinner. then we went to take table and tiles and walked all the way to my hse LOL damn paiseh or. slacked , some psp and ps2 then me nana jeremy kk/wenxiang mahjonged. jer won 1 me won 5 nana won 25 LOL. poor kk and wenxiang. then we played circle of death. DAMN FUN TO SEE THOSE HIGH ONES DO STUPID THINGS LA LOL. then mikhial made a rule say we cannot use the chinese eng and dialect of drink the word. then everyone keep kena and have to drink. lester and kaixun were the lucky ones to drink our mixture of alcoholic and shit contents
nana was the most high one alr bah LOL.
the more friends you have, the more characters you notice.i have no faith in you any longer. the more i see you, the excruciating pain, takes over whats left of my empty shell. i hope the likes of you, will just disappear from the world, cease to exist, so that i never will know such a person. so dear whom i hold deeply in my forsaken heart. i wish to be reborned as a tree. so when i set my roots in, forever will i be there and, all my loved ones will be around me.after reading my previous composition, i had further thoughts.ironically, enlightenment occuredpast nor future.precisely when it meant to.knowledge, insights came,pouring in like,it was not in my dictionary.perceiving matters withincrement of maturity.distrust in loveyou made me.unwilling to commityou caused it.
confidence lacking,reality sets in,it really was not meant to beyou and meits wrong you seesomehow, i dont regret that period of time,for that short stint was probably my happiest period in my life.probably i wont forget what happened.for you may not give a hoot about mebut as long as you're happy.its fine with me.i just really do regret i cannot give more than what i gave.for love is giving one's all and regrets that one cannot give no more.no longer the naive, happy go lucky and nonchalant me.i just cant seemt to really smile and i feel so fake forcing a smile.ive changed a great deal. even ah hu says so. HUUUUUU~i sure do hope time heals all wounds. esp this infected one.Labels: varse variety
A Secret That Can't Be Told
23:58Y
Wednesday 17 September 2008
erm. monday- went for nra cuz jia jun cant come in thursday. hehe A4 POWER. damn tough seriously. the most tiring session ive had so far. not tough how to train right. yes gogo! there were new steps to learn. i still think the move buttock one v mafun zz.
tues- rotted at home the whole day bzzt. supposed to meet xinyi but what the heck. v lazy LOL. at least i finished the sekirei till the latest episode. nb jia jie was sending me some game which was around 200mb then it was gonna end. but i see a little ant crawling around my laptop so i pushed the laptop top down and it auto standby-ied. ZZZZZ then msn dc everything stopped wtf. so im here downloading on my own which is damn slow ors.
somehow i really need to learn the ways of this society. the adult world where money and material stuffs are damn important. no such thing as one for all and all for one already. if you think theres such thing is everlasting love and friendship, that you are wrong. so naive. yes i need to step out of this thinking.
love is when i give my all, and regret that i cant give no more. you cant expect returns for selfish gains. somehow previously i do want to give more and regret that i didnt give more. that was why it didnt work i guess. so no matter how much u give, $$ still most important bahs.
Labels: reality
A Secret That Can't Be Told
00:47Y
Sunday 14 September 2008
i feel so exhausted whew.. yes i just argued with my dad and he beat the fuck outta me. and things arent really going the way i feel it should be. wasting my time heading over to east coast. rushing back to watch manutd lose. alighted the 970 from alfones hse to take 75 but the 75 just rushed pass. walked back home from so far. initially my dad didnt wanna let me in. but somehow alfones reminder came in handy. keep calm. yes just so you know i paced around my house outside like an idiot in order to calm myself. chanted yes i did. somehow my dad asked my y.brother to open the gate. if it was in the past, i guess i would have just left.
so well alfone said, all these are supposed to make me stronger. not feel like an idiot. yes. even i said it to neeeky yesterday, we've already made the supposed wrong choice so we should just make the best out of the wrong choice, try to salvage as much as possible, for instance trying to go alfones house asap and stop complaining. well i didnt do as i preach. so well i should try to stop complaining and if i just were to complain and have no actions nothing will come out right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrc9L4WT0s&feature=relatedomg i cant get enough of this. freaking nice.
damnit i have 28 MORE CALENDARS TO SELL. ANYONE WANTS TO BUY IF NOT IM IN DEEP SHIT. BY TUESDAY ZZ.
oh yea my elder brothers birthday today haha.
justin: no. is ozy zham justin
zahir: okok when i have time LOL
alfred: sorry never go the dinner, thanks anyway soccer soon or
evan: lol. im fine serious, you are just enjoying what we've enjoyed for 7 years already haha. somehow you guys still havent enjoyed what we enjoyed, like epl?
quan: jinx bah you LOL
kimseng: hi and thanks alot ah.
i will try my best to not feel down cuz theres always someone whos worse than me around.Labels: low? no theres always someone else.
A Secret That Can't Be Told
17:07Y
Saturday 13 September 2008
initially, wanted to post happy stuffs. seriously made my day. but somehow it was spoilt again. as usual i guess. its such a dog eat dog world that even the closest people whom you see everyday can stab you blatantly in the back, and me being stupid as usual. believed his nonsense and thought he was just innocently stupid. so wrong.behind that innocent look is a scheming lil bastard underneath. ive been put down for so many years and he still hasnt got sick of it.its alright being the shittiest son amongst the 3. what can i do, just curse everyday lorh. at least if we stick tgt it aint bad. but well. haha wrong. its reality. the world. one thing i hate the most, is my privacy being invaded. even if the person if freaking close to me. selfish ppl, aplenty. all for their own interests. fighting to climb to the top of the fucking never ending ladder which makes even powerful ppl crave for more power. that is why u see in those movies and in history. eventually they fall from being too high. bastards. how long more do i have to lead such a pathetic life.
im not handsome nor am i capable. no wonder whenever i do something which i think i have to and offend ppl. it leads to them finding me an irritant. all ive done was mistakes. wrongs. im not meant for the big stage. always screwing up in the end. i will never get spotted. nor will i make it big. its just the below average ong. somehow i think the amazing ozy is too mighty a name for me. amazing in the negative way bah.
needing to satisfy my family, entertain my friends, prove my worth in anything i do which all seems to be a one big fail. no wonder they call me dropout yea. droppie. the fucking retard who cant do shit.
sorry fred. happy birthday!
rome you do not know how fucking lucky you are. being ignored is something you wouldnt want. it sucks to the core seriously and you will feel like killing yourself.Labels: dog eat dog
A Secret That Can't Be Told
01:53Y
Wednesday 10 September 2008
woke up late. OMG EXAMS HOW?
lucky kimsengs mum fetched us over haha. i was freaking nervous as usual and i bwanged the exam zz. hope i pass? and my teacher teaches me so wrongly that i had to listen to the invigilators each and every word and wasnt sure of what to do -.-
had breakfast after and we decided to go watch kallang roar LOL. only 5 or 6 ppl in the cinema? including us. the movie was at 10.25am LOL. yea it was kinda nice and inspiring though the graphics sucks balls. went home and slept all the way. haiz i think my younger brother is innocently stupid. well thats all. TMR SONG HYE GYO WHOOO HOOO
5pm wisma atria omfg whos going?
zahir: hey! lol see you around in sch
yingxin: kk bye
alf: LOL. see you later
Labels: innocently stupid
A Secret That Can't Be Told
23:51Y
having my piano exams tmr. abit stressed cuz i didnt really practise =/ lucky kimseng's gonna accompany me there (:
2ndly OMG? SONG HYE GYO IS IN SINGAPORE. im so gonna go wisma this thursday. WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME? WE CAN GO NRA AFTER THAT!!
3rdly i feel quite happy now like, the A4 ppl are trying to talk to me and ask me out, yea A4 clique FTW? and im knowing more ppl in my cca so i guess it isnt that bad after all.
everytime i pass that route, every slightest bit of memory comes flashing back. it just did today.
im gonna follow some ppl in replying tags.
alfred : yes you can slap
evan : I MISS YOU TOO (: meet up or?
alf: you really should include my sms in your blog
quan: get some games for us lei
rome : __ you go yourself, so far siao.
rayne: HEY! HAHA (:
glenn: lets win a dota game together. LOL
calista: BLUR QUEEN HAHAHAAHA. yea bp all the way
sylvia: HAHA. EH I HAVENT SOLD CALENDARS LEI HOW?
CHRIS:D : not only lunch la, breakfast ah, dinner supper all included. LOL (:
i just have one burning question, did you ever love me from the bottom of your heart?Labels: reminisce
A Secret That Can't Be Told
02:13Y
Sunday 7 September 2008
nra camp- one word to summarise it. good.
check the nra ppl's blog for what happened in it (:
one word. exhaustion.
friday, went to geylang. no its not what you think it is.
its for CIP. briefing for the funfair and stuff on saturday. had to wash some cars for training. cuz i would be washing cars on the actual day.
sat- its not much of a surprise how an insignificant dude can really make the most out of the day.
just like not winning the tournament.
washed cars again and headed over to watch the suntec dance comp.
had to go over to alfones house to surprise him. argued with my mum. i shant elaborate bout my dad. its been wrong since the start. mums just worried bout me. its just the same. i worry my close ones without considering their feelings just for myself. to entertain my friends. somehow somewhere perhaps, i should cut off some commitments and contribute to my family and studies. no point doing stuff no one gives a hoot about right? esp my granny who calls to check on me, its always bothering news she hears. not like WHOAAA. my dear grandson is doing well in studies, or in other areas of his life. its always, study hard okay? dont argue with your parents okay? its always in my mouth on how much i really love my granny and my parents. but wheres the action? i dont want my granny to see me continuing like this everyday, i feel really exhausted everyday. haha well its such a long post so i doubt anyone reads it. since no one really bothers coming here anyway.
somehow i feel like a speck of dirt. blown around unnoticeably and insignificantly. perhaps i shouldnt even be here. im at the wrong place. it just doesnt suit me. even in the midst i feel so insignificant alr. what more can i ask from the outside?
Labels: speck of dirt.
A Secret That Can't Be Told
22:54Y
Friday 5 September 2008
its just so
wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongcan i make it right this time?its been wrong for my whole life.Labels: wrong
A Secret That Can't Be Told
23:29Y
